Saturday, April 01, 2006
Βραδάκι στο Ιράκ...
US GI *: Ah, that was a damn good dump!
ITBFE **: Lucky you, I’ve been terribly constipated lately.
US GI: How come?
ITBFE: It’s your Allah-damned evening news! I stay up every night
in case I catch a glimpse of me, waving my Kalashnikov in front of
a bombed humvee or something but, hell, haven’t seen anything lately.
(Mumbles something angrily)
US GI: That’s because we’re doing a damn good job kickin’ yo ass.
ITBFE: Got anything to get my ass working?!
US GI: I got this buddy back in the barracks; he’s been stuck here for
nine months and he shoves his tool to any greasy hole he sees.
Just get your ass ready and steady and he’ll do the plumbing for ya!
ITBFE: I don’t trust the American plumbers. I wanna see me on American TV!
US GI: Got an idea. I’ll take your photo beheading a dog and I’ll send it
to the New York Times. In fact I’ll testify this dog was kidnapped in a dog-fight with insurgent Iraqi dogs! Got a dog somewhere?
ITBFE: You mean I’ll behead an Iraqi dog and you’ll say it was an American dog?
US GI: Wanna be on TV or not?
ITBFE: Inshallah!! But Iraqi dogs are skinny, they all miss a paw or a foot
and when they see Americans they run for cover.
US GI: Here’s what we’ll do: I put a stars n’ stripes bandana around the
dog’s neck, a pair of sunglasses on his nose and will give him a bowl of beer. Nobody will question that’s an American dog!
ITBFE: (Smiles heartily showing one tooth on upper jaw and two on lower)
Want me to gather up my comrades, to sit in the background and make the
whole thing more appealing?
US GI: Nah, lets not over do it because then the American animal-rights
activists will take to the streets and the insurgency will escalate.
ITBFE: You’re brilliant; I’ll tell that to my sheik! That will put a stop
to the beheading of people and we’ll switch to the dogs.
The Iraqi dogs are destined for heaven!
US GI: (All excited) I should be running this fuckin’ war!!
ITBFE: (He puts his dirty hand on his belly and pauses to listen; then grabs
the American soldier and cross-kisses him Arab style, a huge grin lighting up
his brown face) “Meet you here in an hour. Gonna tell my wife and kids!” he
whispers and disappears in the darkness. A string of gurgly farts give a hint
of his direction…
* US GI: United States Government Issue, με άλλα λόγια Αμερικάνος στρατιώτης
**ITBFE: Iraqi toothless barefooted extremist
ITBFE **: Lucky you, I’ve been terribly constipated lately.
US GI: How come?
ITBFE: It’s your Allah-damned evening news! I stay up every night
in case I catch a glimpse of me, waving my Kalashnikov in front of
a bombed humvee or something but, hell, haven’t seen anything lately.
(Mumbles something angrily)
US GI: That’s because we’re doing a damn good job kickin’ yo ass.
ITBFE: Got anything to get my ass working?!
US GI: I got this buddy back in the barracks; he’s been stuck here for
nine months and he shoves his tool to any greasy hole he sees.
Just get your ass ready and steady and he’ll do the plumbing for ya!
ITBFE: I don’t trust the American plumbers. I wanna see me on American TV!
US GI: Got an idea. I’ll take your photo beheading a dog and I’ll send it
to the New York Times. In fact I’ll testify this dog was kidnapped in a dog-fight with insurgent Iraqi dogs! Got a dog somewhere?
ITBFE: You mean I’ll behead an Iraqi dog and you’ll say it was an American dog?
US GI: Wanna be on TV or not?
ITBFE: Inshallah!! But Iraqi dogs are skinny, they all miss a paw or a foot
and when they see Americans they run for cover.
US GI: Here’s what we’ll do: I put a stars n’ stripes bandana around the
dog’s neck, a pair of sunglasses on his nose and will give him a bowl of beer. Nobody will question that’s an American dog!
ITBFE: (Smiles heartily showing one tooth on upper jaw and two on lower)
Want me to gather up my comrades, to sit in the background and make the
whole thing more appealing?
US GI: Nah, lets not over do it because then the American animal-rights
activists will take to the streets and the insurgency will escalate.
ITBFE: You’re brilliant; I’ll tell that to my sheik! That will put a stop
to the beheading of people and we’ll switch to the dogs.
The Iraqi dogs are destined for heaven!
US GI: (All excited) I should be running this fuckin’ war!!
ITBFE: (He puts his dirty hand on his belly and pauses to listen; then grabs
the American soldier and cross-kisses him Arab style, a huge grin lighting up
his brown face) “Meet you here in an hour. Gonna tell my wife and kids!” he
whispers and disappears in the darkness. A string of gurgly farts give a hint
of his direction…
* US GI: United States Government Issue, με άλλα λόγια Αμερικάνος στρατιώτης
**ITBFE: Iraqi toothless barefooted extremist
